I know that God is doing something. I have no idea what it is, but I do have a peace about that. I'm currently reading/going through a study called "Becoming a Woman of Faith." (Amy, I went to find the "Becoming a Woman of Purpose" book you told me about, but stumbled across this one instead.) The whole book is exactly what I have needed during this time in my life. I'm learning so much new stuff and being reminded of so many things that we tend to forget when we actually need them.
"Faith" is definitely something I am learning a lot about right now:
-I don't want to be like Peter who had enough faith to start out walking on the water, but once he saw a challenge he lost faith and he began to sink.
Matthew 14:30
"But when Peter saw the wind, he was afraid and began sinking."
I have definitely been seeing a lot of "wind" lately. I don't really feel like I've been myself because I have so much stuff on my mind. Not just the job situation, but all of the other things that come from not having a job. And I'm just trying to figure out my life right now. I am doing much better about just taking it a day at a time. I don't need all of the answers right now. Sometimes, it's a little more exciting not knowing. If I didn't have the rest of the world wanting to know what I was doing or why I wasn't doing what they think I should be, I would be a whole lot better.
I can honestly say that I am doing what I feel like God is telling me to do right now. And some days, it's so easy. But then there are other days, when I realize I have no job which equals no money... and then I get to feel a little stressed.
-Psalm 138:8
"The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me. Your Love, O'Lord endures forever- do not abandon the works of your hand."
I know that God has a plan for me. I do not know what all it is. Sometimes during these times, it's so hard to keep that faith and realize that even though we can't really see what God is doing, He IS doing something. I can look at my life over the past few years and it is so evident that God has had His hand in every opportunity that has come my way. I think one of the things that makes it hard is the fact that I thought I was called to work in the ministry. And by 'ministry' I thought I was called to work in a church. For so long, this was all I would really consider. Over the past year, my heart has completely changed. I have loved every opportunity I have had to work in a church, but my heart just isn't in that place anymore. I think that freaks me out a little bit because church work was way more predictable.
My major in college is Psychology and Religious Studies. Mainly because I thought I wanted to be a counselor or work in Girl's Ministry. But now, I just don't know. If I could have any job right now, I would be some type of Event Planner/Coordinator. The problem is that I don't have a ton of "real world" experience in that area.
-This is a prayer that I have been praying over the past few days (I didn't write it, I got it out of my book):
"No longer will I be concerned about what self wants, but about what Christ wants. When I pray I will not always be asking for things for my comfort and convenience but rather I will be seeking a place in God's will and asking for grace to stand where God wants me. I will not strive to show my love for God by the efforts of the flesh, but rather by the worship and trust of my heart. I will no longer try to show what great things I can do for Him, but will yield myself to Him so that He can show the world what great things H can do for me."
I think it pretty much explains itself.
All of this is kind of random, but it's just a small, small part of what is going on in my life right now. I hope it all makes sense. If some of you think I have fallen off the face of the Earth, I haven't.
I am in a constant state of surrender to God. Every day is a new day and every day has different challenges of its own. Even though I seem like such a Debbie Downer right now, there are some really great things going on in my life. I have amazing family and friends that I am absolutely loving getting to spend time with. I'm loving being a part of The Generation (College/Singles Ministry) and I am excited about so many other things.
Here are a few pictures from the past few months:
These are way out of order.....
Our Costume Party we had for the Young Professionals at church.
My sister's last home game ever and her Senior night. SO WEIRD!
I took Logan to the Galleria to ride the carasel. He is so precious and he melts my heart.
Some of the girls at the Costume Party. (Dorthy, me-the Lion, Mary Poppins-she took her hat off and her hair down, and the Scarecrow)
Our Group at the Costume Party. We didn't win, but we so should have. I love April's (AKA Dorthy) shoes. They are the modern day ruby slippers!
I have been playing in a Bunko group. I know it sounds very old ladyish but it's so much fun. It's 12 girls from the Young Professionals class. This month was "Bunkoween."
I had several ethnic babies in my swaddle that's around me.
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