Sometimes I forget what I actually post on here. There have been a few times that I have written out a post and just never published it. It sounds good in my head, but then when I read it out loud it just isn't what I thought.
I say that to say, in this post I might refer to things I have already mentioned, so I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself.
Last night I was reading the book of Hosea. I have read these specific verses before and they really stuck out to me. I just couldn't figure out why I was so intrigued by them.... until last night. I was moved by these verses, but just didn't have the words for it.
Hosea 2:14
"Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her."
I'm pretty positive it's God talking about Israel right here. But I've mentioned before that I have felt like the past 4 years of my life have been a desert time for me. Not in a "I've been miserable" kind of way, but just a time that I've really felt God took me to a place where I could really hear from him. He removed some things in my life that were causing distractions. Forever I thought it was about physical location. After I had moved several different times and nothing seemed to change, I realized it was a matter of the heart.
This verse is exactly what God has done in my life. There were some things he used to allure me to this place. I guess He knew I was not going to willingly walk there on my own. Once I realized it, there were many days I fought it. I often wished I could turn around and go back. I don't know when, but there was a point I finally surrendered and just told the Lord I would do whatever He wanted me to do. I didn't know what that was then, and I really don't know what it is now.
I just know that I'm ready, whenever He chooses to reveal the next step for me.
I really feel like this "desert" time in my life is beginning to slowly come to an end. I feel so relieved and happy, but I also feel a little sad. Looking back, it was hard. But sooo worth it. It has been such a precious time with me and the Lord. A time I know I'll never get back. I hope that I wasn't so focused on getting through it that I missed the beauty that was in it.
In the last verse of Hosea 2 it says this:
"I will plant her for myself in the land;
I will show my love to the one I called 'Not my loved one.'
I will say to those called 'Not my people, You are my people'
and they will say, 'YOU are MY GOD."
That last line pretty much sums it up for me. I have always been able to tell the Lord, "You are God." And I meant it. I have never doubted it. But before the "desert" I don't think I could really say "You are my God."
That's really all I know to say about it.